Portals, Ponies, and Pigtails
by PurpleHairedGenius
Summary: How Rick invented the portal gun, and a glimpse into Beth's unconventional upbringing. Rated T for now, but will probably turn to M eventually. Read and review, and stay squanchy!
1. Bored

Portals, Ponies, and Pigtails

Summary: My version of Rick and Beth's past, and how it lead to the invention of the portal gun. Read and review!

Chapter 1: Bored

"Brain Grain, version 5.237. July 16th, 1988, 3:32pm, Pacific standard time. Subject: Sanchez, B., age 8, female, fair skin and b-blonde hair, 4 foot 1 inch tall, approximately 60 pounds. Subject's current status-"

SPLAT.

Rick wiped the wad of beige goop from his face while his daughter, Beth, giggled uncontrollably from behind her bowl of experimental complete nutrient paste, which was codenamed Brain Grain, engineered by Rick as an alternative to food.

"...energetic, bu-but definitely not as docile as predicted af-BURRPP-ter being fed Brain Grain exclusively f-for three days. The addition o-of vitamin B12 may lead to more focused energy in the subject."

Rick shut off his tape recorder, and sat across from Beth at the small breakfast nook in their kitchen. She smiled up at her father over the bowl of flavorless paste, instantly defusing his annoyance and frustration. He ruffled Beth's wavy blond hair playfully, then pulled out his flask from his lab coat, and took a sip as he gazed out the window. The vast sagebrush desert landscape of Eastern Washington state was flat, lifeless, and boring, which was perfect for concentrating on his science experiments and hiding Beth and himself from his crazed ex-wife, Abigail, which was all Rick wanted to do after her latest kidnapping attempt. Unfortunately, the isolation had an adverse effect on his only child's behavior, and her constant whining was beginning to get on his nerves.

"Daddy?", Beth asked as she started molding the cold Brain Grain mush into the shape of a horseshoe.

Rick snapped out of his daze, and looked down at his daughter, cocking his unibrow.

"Hmm? W-what is it, Beth?"

She poked at her mushy horseshoe with her spoon sadly, and mumbled, "I'm bored."

Rick slapped his face with his palm and grit his teeth, suppressing the sudden flare up of anger at Beth's most common complaint. He composed himself, not wanting to scream at his little girl. He took a deep breath, and looked at her through his bony fingers with his steely blue eyes.

"B-Beth, _sweetheart_ , what have I, what did we say about boredom?"

She crossed her arms and pouted, her freckled face growing red in frustration.

"But Daddy, I said I'm BORED! I wanna...I wanna go somewhere! This desert is dumb, and this food is dumb!"

Rick stood up quickly, and leaned across the table to look his headstrong daughter in the eye, losing his temper.

"Well, if you quit _acting_ dumb, Beth, maybe everything here won't _seem_ as dumb! Besides, you know we ca-URRP-n't leave the trailer, Beth, everything out there right now either wants to p-p-poison you, eat you, or kidnap you, a-and Brain Grain is a w-w-work in progress, just give it a chance! Look, I know you're just a kid, Beth, and I know this must be h-har-tough for you, but I simply can't risk your mother f-finding us and hurting you again. Remember, boredom is for, is a-a thing only stupid people get, like a disease, and they just stay bored, forever! Smart people, like you and me, Beth, we use that boredom as motivation to learn, and discover new things! S-so go, Beth, go be smart, and quit pretending to be dumb, because I know you're not!"

Beth hopped down from her seat, and ran to her room, tears welling in her green eyes, and slammed the door so hard the flimsy single wide trailer shook. Rick frowned, and ran his hand through his sweaty black hair. He knew he couldn't keep his daughter locked up in their trailer for too much longer, but he wouldn't dare risk running into Abigail again. He stared down at the formica tabletop, thinking of a solution.

Rick reached into his pocket and pulled out the strange, glowing green crystal he had traded with the janitor from the nearby Hanford laboratory for a case of homemade whiskey, and idly rolled it around on the table, lost in thought. He accidentally rolled it off the edge, and, as the crystal hit the laminate floor below, a brilliant green flash blinded Rick. He blinked his eyes, and looked down into the swirling green mass on the floor below.

"Huh, well th-that's pretty weird."

Rick stared into the giant, glowing oval, and waved his dosimeter above it.

"Hmm, well it's no-not radioactive enough to kill me...", he mumbled to himself as he pocketed the dosimeter. Curious, he tossed the salt shaker from the table into the green oval, and, a second later, the portal closed, leaving only the crystal on the floor.

Rick carefully picked up the crystal and carried it to his makeshift laboratory in the living room. He pushed the half empty cans of varying versions of Brain Grain aside, and set the crystal down on his workbench, a huge smile widening across his face. He finally had some real science to do.


	2. Green Jello Should Have Pineapple

Chapter 2: Green Jello Should Have Pineapple

"H-hey, Beth, hand me that screwdriver, would ya?"

Rick held out his hand expectantly, unable to look away from the device he'd been working on, day and night, for over a month. Beth put down the equine anatomy textbook Rick had ordered for her shortly after their fight the day he discovered the potential of the crystal, and handed her father the Philips head screwdriver.

"Is it almost finished, Daddy?", Beth asked as she stood on her tip-toes to peer up at the workbench. Rick adjusted the final screw on the handle of the device, and nodded in the affirmative. A drop of sweat beaded off the tip of his nose under the heat of the lamp illuminating his creation.

"Aaaaand, YES! I think that's got 'er, kiddo!"

Rick stood up and held the portal gun in his hand, looking at the glowing crystal contained in the glass cylinder atop the gun. He turned the dial underneath to turn it on, punched in some coordinates into the keypad, and aimed the gun at the wall. Beth bounced on her heels in anticipation, and watched as the brilliant emerald flash washed out everything in the room for a split second.

The man-sized portal on their living room wall rippled like water, fascinating both Rick and Beth. After a few silent moments, Rick held up his hand.

The salt shaker he has tossed into the first portal over a month ago shot out of the portal and into Rick's hand; both closed immediately after.

"Here ya go, Beth, I'm sure it'll make that latest batch of Brain Grain taste a hell o-of a lot better", Rick said as he handed the glass shaker to Beth. She giggled, and set the salt on the workbench behind them.

"I think those portal things look like green jello, but without the pineapple. You think there's pineapple in the portals sometimes, Daddy?"

Rick dialed in a new destination into the portal gun, and shot at the wall again, opening another bright green oval.

"Beth, I can make it so there's a whole _planet_ of sentient pineapples in these, in these babies. But we still gotta make sure stuff other than salt can m-make it through and back in one piece..."

He reached into his lab coat pocket, and produced a white rat with a length of twine tied around it's torso. Beth smiled and reached up to pet the rodent, but Rick quickly pulled it high above her head.

"No no, B-Beth, this little guy here isn't a pet, he's gonna make sure these things ar-aren't gonna kill us if we go th-URRRP-rough 'em. Wouldn't get attached to him if I were you."

Beth put her hands behind her back and nodded, not agreeing with her father's use of a test animal, but knowing it was better than risking their own lives.

Rick walked up close to the portal, and tossed the rat in, holding onto the other end of it's twine tether. He waited a second, then pulled back on it swiftly. The rat popped out just before the portal closed, agitated but alive. Rick brought the animal back to it's small cage on the floor, and shut it safely inside.

"Yay! So it's safe?"

Rick smiled and nodded to Beth, and shot another portal onto the wall. He grabbed her hand and stepped forward.

"W-well, you said you wanna go somewhere, kid, how about an entirely new dimension?"

Beth nervously nodded 'yes', and squeezed Rick's hand tightly.

Rick and Beth closed their eyes as they walked into the portal together, into the shimmering green void.

As the portal closed behind them, the rat in it's cage began to sprout scales, horns, and antenna, before it tripled in size. The mutated rat spread it's newly formed, bat-like wings, spewed acid at the cage wall, and flew away, out through a nearby open window.


End file.
